trainwreck

This weekend = trainwreck. Well, more like a 3 or 4 day span of time encompassing a weekend at some point.

Thursday was easy - pizza and pitchers at Magoo's, some good music (for the most part, get to that in one second), and a great Hawaii night. About the music - for some reason, someone played Iron & Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights" on the jukebox. At a college bar. On a Thursday night. While it is a good song (I do believe I prefer it to the Postal Service version, and it's one of the songs I had planned on playing at my wedding - yes, I had planned music for my wedding, is that gay or is that just romantic? Don't answer that.), I'm not sure it's "college bar on a loud drunken night" music. Maybe more "let's smoke a bowl and watch Garden State and cuddle on the couch until I fumble around with your jeans buttons and awkwardly grope your crotch" music. Moving on.

After Magoo's it was a quick trip over to a sports bar to meet some buddies - to be fair, no sports are actually playing on a Thursday night at 10PM in Hawaii (4AM to you East Coast folks), but they had a cover band that a friend of mine is in love with (well, to be fair, she's trying to fuck the lead singer, this guy who kind of looks like a clown without makeup). A few cheers of "let's go Hokies" from various bar folks (I was rocking the Blacksburg shirt for about the 4th day in a row), including a cute blond girl in a sarong named Lizbeth (or was it Elizabeth? Or what?) who smiled at me all night and yelled it several times but when I went to talk to her ran away to go flirt with the singer in the band. Musicians get all the girls, apparently. I hope he grasps his D-list Honolulu fame for the next few minutes, because I'm not sure it's so attractive to girls to be the lead singer in a cover band at an empty bar every Thursday night.

Friday was hangover time. Day off of work, too, which was nice. Popped about 20 Ibuprofen and I was back on track - just relaxed down on the beach (for about an hour, my friends were in town and both are pale redheads who apparently have much in common with vampires), then some good dinner downtown and a little bit of barhopping. I've now realized that I need to go out with cool couples more often - I could pound beers with my buddy, while his wife wandered the bar bumping into cute girls that I had expressed a "hey that girl's hot with all her friends and totally ignoring me" interest in and making it totally cool to talk to them. (I know this makes me sound like I have no "game" or "skillz" or whatever the kids are calling it these days, but honestly, it's more like "apparently just going up and saying hi my name is blank no longer works so well all the time".) Which led to a beautiful brunette with an amazing low cut top and high cut skirt to come over to the table and then go dance with me, at which point she made sure to tell me how she was from the Yay Area and her cousin was in love with me and had slapped my ass and she had a boyfriend who was a really good guy and didn't mind her dancing with other guys. Apparently dancing means "when you jokingly go low to the floor I'm going to throw my leg over your shoulder and thrust my lace-thong covered crotch into your face." I wasn't complaining. When we left, my buddy's wife got the girl's number to call her the next day, and then promptly closed her phone without saving it in a drunken mess. So no number saved, even as the girl was telling me how she loved her boyfriend and sucked on my neck. Awesome. I was tempted to post something on CL's "Missed Connections" board in a hungover haze until I realized that is sort of... sad. Honestly.

Saturday was Jack Johnson and others down in Waikiki. Carried a cooler about halfway across the city filled with beer, then proceeded to double fist them in a park outside the concert hall for 3 or so hours. Around 45 beers total. My parents showed up and hung out, I showed them not only a nice park view of Waikiki but also what a functioning blackout their son can be. I honestly don't remember walking into the concert, but apparently I was quite coherent at times, even so much that the beer vendors in the concert sold me more beer without asking if A) I was all right or B) I was alive. This meant that at some point during Eddie Vedder's set I was curled up on the ground looking like I had cerebral palsy while texting all my friends that "paarl jam rocks" and then repeating what they wrote back to me. I don't know. I did sing along - a lot, so much so that I still don't have much of a voice. Even to songs that I have never heard nor know the words to. I also almost fell over a step several times (a step that I believe I created in my mind to justify not being able to stand up) and almost tackling my mom. After that I start remembering things again, then we headed off to a bar, where I drank a few more beers and took pictures with random girls because it was their birthday and took pictures of girls that I didn't know just to piss them off and sang along to Journey. Then someone in the group wanted to go to Denny's so we ate breakfast and stared at some girl's boobs in her low cut top, and my married buddy took a video of her with his video camera so we would remember it in the morning. His wife found this humorous, which means I need an awesome wife like that.

Surprisingly, Sunday I was not that hungover. I also didn't crawl out of bed until 1, or leave my house until approximately 4:30PM. We watched a lot of MTV, ate a lot of waffles and orange juice, and played a few games of Wii bowling. Luau at night, at which I'm sure I was entirely too antisocial, mostly because the last time I went to the luau was with her and it was one of the greatest nights of my entire life and this whole thing just reminded me too much of that. My folks understood though once I explained it, and they didn't push the point. Went to bed early - I wanted to go out drinking, but I don't think my body would be able to handle it. I was already teasing a sore throat and a cough and a general body ache, and another night of boozing my face off into oblivion would probably just push me over the edge.

So basically, an amazing weekend. Rereading this I realize just how good it really was, and just how much of the good stuff I probably was blacked out during. I also realize that I am a huge fan of run-on sentences and will use them for the rest of my life, despite the fact that I know better and always got A's in English class (even the one with the weird hippie professor who smelled kind of like patchouli oil and Old Spice aftershave).



currently listening: jack johnson - broken